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It really is okay to not be okay.

So, on the 10th of October it was National Mental health awareness day. This post has been written since then, but i just wasn’t ready to post it yet.

It’s 2017 and theres still people that don’t understand mental health, doctors that are oblivious that it’s such a huge problem – and high school’s and college’s  that don’t want to admit theres a problem.

World Mental Health Day is observed on 10 October every year, with the overall objective of raising awareness of mental health issues around the world and mobilizing efforts in support of mental health.

The Day provides an opportunity for all stakeholders working on mental health issues to talk about their work, and what more needs to be done to make mental health care a reality for people worldwide – and this day is SO important to SO many people.

Mental health comes in different forms, Depression, Psychosis, bipolar disorders, eating disorders and literally loads more.

It takes a lot to get help for this but it takes even more to admit you have an issue with mental health. It isn’t something to hide anymore, it’s okay not to be okay.

So, heres an idea –

Just under 2 years ago i weighed just under 6 stone, it got to the point was impossible to act normal and i needed help. Luckily i have the most incredible friends and people i class as family around me. After a year i got on track and sorted myself out, then the summer before last fell back into an awkward spiral again after a vile relationship. My relationship was full of comments about what i could and couldn’t do, what i did and didn’t look okay in, how fat i was and loads of other vile stuff. Anything can trigger you, but this is what triggered me, both times.

I’ve learnt people are going to judge you, people are mean, they’ll judge your weight, outfit and every single thing you do, you just have to not care and laugh that they’re still talking about you.

You know when people ask you what you’ve had for lunch, or if you’ve eaten, or when they tell you that you should eat more, they complement how small and slim you are, or maybe that top doesn’t cling in the right places.. ALL this matters.

An eating disorder is not skipping one meal, thinking you are fat, or wanting to loose a few pounds. An eating disorder is a disease in your head; one that controls your life and over powers everything else you once cared about.

It’s so much more than “just not eating to be skinny”

It transforms you into a different person, stealing your personality and happiness, and replacing them with fear, anxiety and loneliness.

It doesn’t appear out of no where, it grows from so many different sources like stress, control issues, perfectionism, over working your body – and with me, people judging your every move.

It literally drains you mentally and physically, and slowly but surely it takes you – literally.

You can never fully understand an eating disorder unless you’ve had one yourself and i hope none of you ever have to understand it.

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..

Maybe you need someone to pick you up, do things that must be so minor to them, but mean so much to you. All of this helps, but it all comes down to letting people help you, but yet depending on yourself.

It really is okay not to be okay.

B
xo

 

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