TRIGGER WARNING –
Would you let a number on a scale own you?
Because between 1.25 and 3.4 million people in the UK do, and they are affected by an eating disorder.
Around 25% of those affected by an eating disorder are male.
Did you know eating disorders are the highest cause of death of any mental illness?
Long time no blog post, but this isn’t a topic I can just ignore just to obvious reasons which I’m extremely open about on here and on my instagram, not so much at the moment because of other personal reasons.. so, let’s just say it how it is –
Is an eating disorder even real? Or is it attention seeking? That’s what they say isn’t it? We live in this huge lifestyle of diet culture, perfect instagram bodies and sports so that’s what they say..
Oh, just eat this, your body looks fine.. people just DO NOT get it, and the NHS is already so underfunded the help and support just isn’t there.
Eating disorders are a group of related conditions including anorexia, bulimia and binge eating.
Symptoms of an eating disorder include worrying about your weight, eating too little or making yourself sick after eating.
“An eating disorder is a serious mental illness, characterised by eating, exercise and body weight or shape becoming an unhealthy preoccupation of someone’s life.”
Tonight has rocked a lot of people including myself. I have friends, people I used to be friends with, people I haven’t spoken to in years, but knowing they’re feeling the exact same way as I am after poor Nikki lost her battle with her eating disorder – anorexia, I’ve made sure to check in on every single person – and that is exactly what you should be doing too.
This isn’t a small thing, eating disorders are not small things, they’re HUGE, they take over your entire life and can trigger you onto bigger things – I am living, breathing, screaming proof of this.
It’s so easy to fall back into that circle.
I’ve learnt people are going to judge you, people are mean, they’ll judge your weight, outfit and every single thing you do, you just have to not care and laugh that they’re still talking about you.. Be the person that’s being talked about rather than the person that’s doing the talking, I’ve learnt this in the last few months more than ever. People change, and sometimes you need to change too.
You know when people ask you what you’ve had for lunch, or if you’ve eaten, or when they tell you that you should eat more, they complement how small and slim you are, or maybe that top doesn’t cling in the right places.. ALL this matters.
An eating disorder is not skipping one meal, thinking you are fat, or wanting to loose a few pounds. An eating disorder is a disease in your head; one that controls your life and over powers everything else you once cared about.
It’s so much more than “just not eating to be skinny” or “binge eating”.
It transforms you into a different person, stealing your personality and happiness, and replacing them with fear, anxiety and loneliness.
It doesn’t appear out of no where, it grows from so many different sources like stress, control issues, perfectionism, over working your body – and with me, people judging your every move.
It literally drains you mentally and physically, and slowly but surely it takes you – and todays news is proof, that it takes you quite literally.
You can never fully understand an eating disorder unless you’ve had one yourself and i hope to god none of you ever have to understand it.
But at the same time I hope you all understand it more, I hope you all take a step back and realise now, not just because a celebrity has passed, but warning signs, when people need help. An eating disorder is so hard to spot, I for one was an absolute boss at hiding it, and I am so lucky to have those around me now, including a PT as a boyfriend to help me with this every other day.
Comments like “do I look fat in this” “does this look right” “nah, I ate at lunch” “I had a big lunch” “I’ve already eaten” – sometimes all these can add up and be a much bigger thing.
An eating disorder takes over someones entire life and to seek help and treatment as an inpatient or an outpatient is absolutely terrifying.
We see each other judging each others looks on the internet every single second of every single day – and it’s horrible.
People don’t need that perfect figure, people need to be happy in their own skin, but it isn’t like that with an eating disorder – it doesn’t matter how much you work out, or eat right, or don’t eat at all – you will NEVER be happy whilst this disease is inside of you.
Please, educate yourselves, take a step back, look around you, just a message could help someone – if you need help, take the scales out of your room and put them away for the next 7 days – tips we were all taught.
If tonight you need that helping hand, my inbox is always open and here’s some numbers that could help you – and please, remember it’s okay to feel as you do, it’s normal, it’s okay not to be okay.
BEAT ED helpline tel: 0808 801 0677
BEAT ED helpline for under 18s: 0808 801 0711
National Centre for EDs: 0845 838 2040
Eating Disorder Support: 01494 793223
The World today is a toxic place, social media is a toxic place, you can often feel like your surrounded by toxicity – but I promise you, you’ve got this,
“Feeling guilty for eating when you’re hungry is like feeling guilty for breathing when your lungs need oxygen. We’ve literally been taught to be ashamed of our basic human needs. Refuse to feel the shame, you are allowed to eat.”
It’s okay to have bad days, it’s okay to feel like you do right now. But as I said, you’ve got this.
Rest in peace Nikki Grahame, a true icon ❤️
Love you all, always