GF – Christmas Desserts

So it’s coming towards the end of November which means most people are in Christmas shopping mode! Whether is presents and gifts or food, everyone loves new things and products – and of course a bargain!

We went to ASDA at Fosse Park and had a look at their Christmas Gluten Free range of deserts – and we were pleasantly surprised!

It’s not that long ago that even getting a cake or a loaf of bread that didn’t resemble a door stop or a brick was impossible – so ASDA, You’ve stepped up, and we’re all very grateful!

mp gf

£1.50 for 4 gluten free mince pies?! This is mad, they’re usually £2 each from the bakery near me! 5060227120719_280_IDShot_3

This Christmas cake is from the ‘Extra Special’ range… and it better be extra special for £6.50..5060227120702_280_IDShot_3

He’s no Colin the Caterpillar, but he is Roddy the Reindeer and thats enough for me! He’s £6, so if your birthdays in December.. This is a must! 5060227120696_280_IDShot_3

Again from the “Extra Special” range is this Yull Log. I’ve actually tried this, It has ALOT of icing but its really nice with some cream poured over it! It’s £4.50, but you don’t need a huge slice to calm the sugar crave!5054781765202_280_IDShot_3

I NEED to try this Chocolate and salted caramel naked layered gateau. I’ve been back a few times and it’s always out of stock – If anyone tries this, let me know how it is please! It’s £6.50, which again, nearly £7 for a cake is ALOT. 5054781729587_280_IDShot_3

I really want to try this gingerbread tree kit! It’s £3. I had their ginger bread kit last year and it was really heavy and pretty dry. Fingers crossed this recipe is different! 5054781745181_280_IDShot_3

£4 Christmas cupcakes for £2.50.. They’re basically asking you to buy 2 boxes at once!5054781745204_280_IDShot_3

This Red Velvet loaf cake is AMAZING! It’s £3. I was worried it was going to be really dry, but it isn’t at all. This will definitely be eaten a few times a week as the cake itself is pretty big and comes in a resealable container.5054781749561_280_IDShot_3

This Ice Christmas cake is £2.60, and also resembles a door stop, or brick.. I’d pay a little more and get the “Extra Special” one..5054781749578_280_IDShot_3

Again, I haven’t been able to find these yet,  but you get 6 for just £1.20. Perfect as a snack for yourself or a little one! 5054781544043_280_IDShot_3

This christmas pudding was actually really heavy and stodgy. It’s £1.50 but it isn’t very big. Its an individual pudding but i prefer the Free From ASDA’s own Christmas Pudding Below.. 5054781052913_280_IDShot_3

This Christmas pudding is £3, it’s bigger and also tastes a lot more amazing! It doesn’t sit as heavy and isn’t as stodgy either. It’s really nice and i’d totally recommend trying it. You can scoop it out the container if you don’t want to eat it all at once too.

So! Exciting news, if you look in the fridge isle, with the normal desserts, theres loads that aren’t actually labeled as Gluten Free – but if you read through the ingredients they actually are!

This Belgian Chocolate and salted caramel roulade is £4 and its huge! It can easily be pudding for 5 people.  5054781123132_280_IDShot_3

Not feeling in a chocolate mood? Try the Sicilian Lemon and Mascarpone roulade – it’s also £4 and is the same size as the chocolate one above. 5054781307945_280_IDShot_3

ASDA’s extra special hand finished raspberry and prosecco pavlova stack – It’s £5. I haven’t found it yet as it’s always sold out. This is one i HAVE to try asap though, it looks amazing!

It’s only £2.50 for 2 toffee and pecan roulades! Thats £1.25 each.. I could only manage half of one and i have a massive sweet tooth! 5054781795629_280_IDShot_3

If you want something slightly less sweet (only slightly less) then they also sell Raspberry Roulades too! They’re the same size and again they’re £2.50.5054781795636_280_IDShot_3

The ASDA Extra Special Belgian Chocolate and black forest meringue was SO GOOD! This is definitely one to eat after a family meal or when you’re sat in bed and want to binge eat sweet things with a chick flick on – it’s £6 though.. so not a dessert for every week! 5054781795667_280_IDShot_3

And lastly, the Belgian Chocolate and salted caramel pavlova wreath. I didn’t like this, it was way, way, WAY too sweet for me! Maybe in very small amounts i’d actually manage a portion! This is £6.5054781795674_280_IDShot_3

Found any other Christmassy Gluten Free Goodies in ASDA? Drop me a message and let me know so I can try them!


“You can’t make people love you, but you can make them fear you.” – GG xoxo


So, Yesterday night (21:58 – Monday 6th November) – Hearts were broken as Kristina Cohen accused Ed Westwick of rape in his own home.


Ed Westwick is a British actor who’s known mostly for his role as Chuck Bass in Gossip Girl. If you’ve watched gossip girl, you will know after season 2, there is no way of not falling in love with Chuck Bass.. This being said, Chuck Bass is a CHARACTER – He isn’t Ed Westwick.


Kristina decided to report the ‘incident’ on Facebook. Yes Facebook, a social media platform. Not the police – Facebook.

Before today her posts were getting 3-5 comments but this one has obviously got huge because of the nature of it – with 11.6k reactions, 9k comments, 1.3k shares – and it’s still growing.

I’m not for a second am i victim blaming, nor am i taking sides, but it’s hard when in my opinion, the story doesn’t add up – and i for one, have so many questions. Her Facebook post is below –

I have SO many questions about this :

  1. If you went with your producer boyfriend, why is he not named? –  He bought her to Ed’s house, he’s also in the wrong for not letting her leave.
  2. If you’re feeling uncomfortable and leaving in 20 minutes, why would you then head to a spare room?
  3. Why and HOW would you manage to fall asleep if you were feeling that comfortable in a strangers house?
  4. Why have no other witnesses been named and only Ed?

I have loads more, but the main question –

WHY is this posted on a Facebook status and not taken to the police? 

Social media is losing their minds at this right now. What ever happened to innocent until proven guilty? What, so if its posted on social media, it must be true?


I live in a semi detached house and i drive a fiesta, my boyfriend certainly isn’t the king of England either. – See where I’m going with this?

So basically, Ed has been accused of raping Kristina. No matter how this post comes across, i am fully against that. But where is the proof? It’s near enough impossible to find proof of someone raping someone especially 3 years later – but i want to see proof – before someones life is destroyed.

It takes so much strength for Kristina to stand up for herself, and for her to tell the truth. But at present – no one knows the truth.


Why are people saying he’s guilty because of Season one of gossip girl? He’s and actor – it’s a script. The fact people are using this as an argument is pathetic – it’s no argument at all.

It’s the same as saying Daniel Radcliffe can produce magic from a stick. He’s an actor. So this argument is invalid.

People need to stop believing everything they read on social Media. Stop jumping on people – just because of ONE post. You don’t know if it’s true, you don’t know that it’s not. The last thing you should be doing is jumping on someone to ruin their career and reputation purely from a Facebook post – cause right now, that is what it is.

Kristina posted this on Social media, knowing it would take the publics attention and knowing what it would cause.

When proof is out there, i’ll take a side, until then, Don’t jump on someone without proof – a Facebook post IS NOT PROOF. A lot of people have said Kristina had an entire story and that Ed only had 3 lines. Saying he didn’t rape her. How is her writing a longer post “proof” that isn’t proof? I don’t get it..


Both Ed and Kristina have fans, so their fans are clearly going to take their sides, he’s famous, he’s hot – But Kristina is also famous and pretty, she has her own fans.

I guess i take back what i originally said – Yeah, I’m defending him, as most people aren’t. This doesn’t mean I’m choosing his side, I’m not picking a side until i have more proof then a Facebook post.

And for what its worth, Leighton never followed Ed on social media in the first place..
Sit down.img_0790

So now, it’s getting late, i’m off to re-watch Gossip Girl – Peace out. 



No, it isn’t a faddy diet..

Hey guys,

I’ve been super ill this week. I’m still getting used to only seeing Dan on weekends and was being dramatic, so he planned a perfect Saturday of lunch, shopping, pumpkin carving and watching the football and eating junk food.

I finished work on Friday night and got home, he was still awake and i was ridiculously excited to actually do something with out weekend!

On Saturday we woke up and got ready, jumped in the car, and off we went.. img_0027

Can we all appreciate my fluffy new coat from boohoo, Dan had to tell me it looked okay a good 5 times before I actually left the house..

The last time we went to Prezzo the food was awful. We went for our anniversary. His food was really nice, but my pasta was cold and hard, i sent it back 3 times and then gave up.. we ended up sharing a side salad and his risotto, which he’d ordered gluten free – cause he’s a good egg. We rang them and emailed them and made a complaint and they emailed us a voucher across to try again.

The Prezzo where we go to is never busy, so it seemed like it could have been a one off.

We ordered cheese and caramelised onion garlic bread to start (this is gluten free) it was really nice too!


For our main, Dan had a calzone with different meats in and some chips with cheese and bits on. I had a carbonara pasta bake (ordered gluten free) – it was meant to be spaghetti but they don’t do gluten free spaghetti so they bought it out with this kind of pasta.. oh and i had a side salad too. img_0024

We ate LOADS and we were so full! I had stomach ache when i was sitting down but just put it down to eating too much.. img_0025

What a mistake that was. Our shopping trip got cut short because i literally couldn’t manage it – I got home and felt ill. Stomach cramps were awful and i was in a lot of pain..

Sunday we had a lazy day, we carved some pumpkins but i slept a lot of it, but that was kinda okay cause there was football on so i wasn’t being annoying or irritating..

When I have gluten i turn into a different person. I’m sick a lot, my iron levels drop, i lose weight really quickly. My mouth is full of ulcers and my teeth hurt. My stomach literally feels like someones got an ice cream scoop and is trying to get the perfect scoop over and over again. My balance ends up poor, i’m forgetful and i end up with what i would consider as.. the worlds WORST BLACK EYES!

The photo below is with a colour correction kit on it, 2 types of concealer, double wear foundation – and you can still see them. I’m not confident enough to put a no makeup selfie on to show you the extent of how bad they go.. but it isn’t pretty.

On Tuesday, they’ve admitted they’d made a mistake and there was cross contamination –   this is clearly the understatement of the century – but hey. I can safely say i don’t want another voucher as compensation.


I’ve been to the doctors twice, and i’ve now been put on a BRAT diet. This means all i can eat for the next few days is –

  • Bannans
  • Rice
  • Apple Sauce
  • Toast (plain)

and clear liquids, so water, Apple Juice, etc.

I’m totally unsure how they can completely mess someones meal up and use the wrong pasta especially when there was only 4 tables actually in use in the entire restaurant.

Coeliac UK know about it, so hopefully they’ll step in – they don’t deserve to be credited.

When people say to you..

“isn’t it annoying to be gluten free?”

“attention seeking”

“Don’t you miss cake?”

It’s honestly the most annoying thing in the world. If i could eat gluten i would. I miss McDonalds chicken nuggets and warm chocolate fudge cake so much!

I haven’t always been gluten free. I ate a dodgy burger when i was 16 or 17. It hadn’t been cooked properly, had been on a floor and was contaminated with anything and everything you can think of. This led me to be REALLY ill in hospital for a long time, and salmonella. I remember eating it. I had 3 bites before i felt ill. An hour later i was in my mums bathroom vomiting blood and ruining her wall paper. It’s safe to say I don’t really remember much for the next few moths. It then took well over a year for the NHS to diagnose me, but since then, sticking to a gluten free diet really works!

People that go Gluten Free for a trend annoy me. Some of us don’t have the choice. but each to their own i guess…

The worst part of this is – I’ve missed halloween and halloween week at work, which is my favourite time of the year too!

So yeah, No thanks Prezzo. We won’t be back..

Bees xo

It really is okay to not be okay.

So, on the 10th of October it was National Mental health awareness day. This post has been written since then, but i just wasn’t ready to post it yet.

It’s 2017 and theres still people that don’t understand mental health, doctors that are oblivious that it’s such a huge problem – and high school’s and college’s  that don’t want to admit theres a problem.

World Mental Health Day is observed on 10 October every year, with the overall objective of raising awareness of mental health issues around the world and mobilizing efforts in support of mental health.

The Day provides an opportunity for all stakeholders working on mental health issues to talk about their work, and what more needs to be done to make mental health care a reality for people worldwide – and this day is SO important to SO many people.

Mental health comes in different forms, Depression, Psychosis, bipolar disorders, eating disorders and literally loads more.

It takes a lot to get help for this but it takes even more to admit you have an issue with mental health. It isn’t something to hide anymore, it’s okay not to be okay.

So, heres an idea –

Just under 2 years ago i weighed just under 6 stone, it got to the point was impossible to act normal and i needed help. Luckily i have the most incredible friends and people i class as family around me. After a year i got on track and sorted myself out, then the summer before last fell back into an awkward spiral again after a vile relationship. My relationship was full of comments about what i could and couldn’t do, what i did and didn’t look okay in, how fat i was and loads of other vile stuff. Anything can trigger you, but this is what triggered me, both times.

I’ve learnt people are going to judge you, people are mean, they’ll judge your weight, outfit and every single thing you do, you just have to not care and laugh that they’re still talking about you.

You know when people ask you what you’ve had for lunch, or if you’ve eaten, or when they tell you that you should eat more, they complement how small and slim you are, or maybe that top doesn’t cling in the right places.. ALL this matters.

An eating disorder is not skipping one meal, thinking you are fat, or wanting to loose a few pounds. An eating disorder is a disease in your head; one that controls your life and over powers everything else you once cared about.

It’s so much more than “just not eating to be skinny”

It transforms you into a different person, stealing your personality and happiness, and replacing them with fear, anxiety and loneliness.

It doesn’t appear out of no where, it grows from so many different sources like stress, control issues, perfectionism, over working your body – and with me, people judging your every move.

It literally drains you mentally and physically, and slowly but surely it takes you – literally.

You can never fully understand an eating disorder unless you’ve had one yourself and i hope none of you ever have to understand it.



Maybe you need someone to pick you up, do things that must be so minor to them, but mean so much to you. All of this helps, but it all comes down to letting people help you, but yet depending on yourself.

It really is okay not to be okay.



“Why Is A Raven Like A Writing Desk?”

So a couple of weeks ago we got bought two tickets to “Alice Underground” in The Vaults theatre in London.
So on Saturday 2nd Of September we drove to Rugby Station, jumped on a train and off we went!


I was really worried about Dan hating it cause he isn’t in to Alice (although he did buy the DVD for us on our first like movie date night which was cute!) but that was a while ago, so he doesn’t really need to do stuff like that for brownie points anymore.


First off, we didn’t think we we’re going to make the train so we went to McDonalds and had breakfast. McDonalds is one of those places where i always feel like they should be doing SO much more gluten free stuff by now as they’re so big. But no, heres my bacon and egg Mcmuffin, without the muffin..




When we finished, we went to park and eventually after a few different car parks we found a space (in the original one we were supposed to go in..) and then walked to the station. I say walk, Dan made us run, and we some how got the original train we were supposed to be getting, still now i have no idea how Dan didn’t run straight out the other side or trip over taking 3 steps at a time whilst my little legs didn’t keep up as well..


We got to London (please keep in mind the only place i’ve ever been on trains is in Paris and there is fine, easy i can handle it, but in the UK, i paid for a car, i’m using my car.. so trains aren’t a thing for me) and it was pretty drama free!


We’re never early for ANYTHING cause “WE” have the worlds worst time keeping. Yet somehow we were nearly 2 and a bit hours early. So we went to see Big ben, The London Eye, Had some Slush drinks and i was of course asking for selfies every 5 minutes..IMG_5114




We walked the longest way you could thing, but eventually found the Vaults and the graffiti tunnel. I think the tunnel itself is AMAZING! Dan disagrees cause he doesn’t see the point in graffiti and says it isn’t art.. but i do, so i took more pictures (shock) and send a load to Sam, who does loads of graffiti (legally) around Leicester.






We eventually got the the front door of The Vaults theatre itself. Had our bag searched and as soon as you go in, it’s as if you’re in another world. We clocked in with our tickets, got a stamp and had a look around until out show was called at 2:15pm. IMG_5120


There was SO much to look at and EVERYTHING was Alice themed. Nothing was missed they’d done everything and yet more than you could think or dream of to bring it to life.IMG_5121


They had loads of different cocktails too. They were again all alice themed. The bar guy was so lovely and went through every cocktail to find out what was Gluten Free and what wasn’t to help us and then was more than happy to change a few bits around so if it wasn’t originally Gluten free, he could make it so it was. I love when people do this so you don’t feel like you’re not included or like you have to miss out. IMG_5123


I’m gonna pretend he’s looking at me a smiling, but i think it was either Forest had scored or something amusing in one of his group chats. He looks cute though, so i’ll leave this photo here. IMG_5124


Behind Dan on the photo above, was a photo booth with an iPad, It had boomerangs and stuff so you could take pictures with the alice boarders and that. After 6 attempts we got two, but the other one i’m grabbing his face, so i’ll post this one instead! IMG_5132


There was no phones allowed inside, so we couldn’t take any other pictures which was sad, but also good cause it added to the experience. The show Alice Underground itself is incredible.


You’re first sent into a room, which itself is amazing. You walk through a secret passage way, and you chose eat or drink. We chose drink, so you drink and walk through a tiny door, as you’ve shrunk, and the people that choose eat go through a huge door, cause they’ve grown.


Then you’re given a playing card “All subjects are to be issued with a ‘Sanctioned Ultra-sensible identification ticket’ or a ‘SUIT’ for short. Your journey through Wonderland is guided by a charismatic playing card!”


I was the 2 of clubs – and i was also the luckiest person on the entire tour. I kept being pulled out for stuff, and taken into little rooms that no one else would get to see. I had to take tart kits and flour to the chef, i had to carry mouse milk around (it’s vary rare you know, do you know how hard it is to milk a mouse?). After crawling and running around with just one other playing card (one of the cast) i was taken back into the room with everyone else. Me and Dan then got spilt up as he was a spade! I started panicking but it was actually kinda fun and made it even better.


He had his tour, and i had mine, we had moles humping my feet, they’d only go away with mouse milk. We had to help paint the roses red, and so so SO much  more. The entire thing is incredible.


Me and Dan eventually met up again around half way round the show. We met up after seeing the twins and sat with the caterpillar. Dan got to eat the tarts but i got given a whistle to call the Jabberwocky.


We then went and got our tea, and sat ready for the mad hatters tea party. This itself, theres no words to describe it. Ive never been to anything like it in my entire 26 years of life.. Of course though, we all had to move seats, which means i was on the tall chair dancing with the cast and everyone was singing the Happy un-birthday song to me! (Honestly, i did more than anyone on this tour!)




After that there was a few other bits and the grand finale, which i won’t give away!


If you have the chance to go, then GO! I couldn’t recommend it more and we’re so lucky we got the tickets as a gift else i don’t think we would have gone at all!


We headed out, went to the station, and started our journey back to Rugby.


Dan, of course loves a nap so fell asleep on the train.. IMG_5145


Then woke up with my handbag printed on the side of his face, which i found really funny so heres a picture of that.. IMG_5149


We we’re going to eat in London but as it was a Saturday night decided not to. We ended up at Nandos in Rugby and ordered WAY too much food. IMG_5151




We some how ate it all though (after counting chips out to each other because we were just TOO full).


Theres less than 2 weeks left to see Alice Underground, so if you can get tickets, DO IT! It wont be here again, and i honestly couldn’t think of a better way to spend my Saturday. It was honestly Incredible.


To see more bits, Follow them on Instagram @AliceUnderLdn and Their website is – the website itself will show you just half of how amazing it is.


Theres ALOT of walking around the show, you’re sat down for nothing, but this plus a mixture of climbing though bookcases, through forests, avoiding the Hearts, tarts and frogs – and yet making friends with the caterpillar is all worth it.




Safe to say after this we had a very very lazy Sunday as we both needed it! And on the odd chance we get to go back, we’ll just have to pick EAT!

Bees xo 

Hello September!

Hey! i’ve been super busy the last few weeks (blog posts coming about this) but i’m back before i take another break for Freshers at the end of the month!

It’s finally September! 
September is my FAVOURITE month of the year because it’t when the seasons change to Autumn! – And Autumn is clearly the best season for many reasons – I like summer, it’s warm, it’s hot, it’s when i take the most time off work, but I feel like i can’t buy over priced hot drinks and justify being cold or staying in bed all day with 6 Movies and a box set in the Summer either.

So here’s a list of why Autumn is the best..


Jumpers, Cardigans, Jackets, Sweaters, Wool in general – You can buy 2343 new ones and justify it. Theres some really cute ones in New Look at the moment too! You can throw one on top of another every time your slightly cold and call it an outfit.

Brisk Breeze.

It’s chilly, but it’s not freezing like Winter is. Plus as above – you can add layers and still look cute AF.

Eskimo Kisses To Warm The Nose.

Eskimo kisses also mean you don’t smudge your lipstick, hence why darker shades of browns, reds and purples are dropped into store at the start of September. I LOVE darker shades, so eskimo kisses work fine with me..


It’s cold enough for Tea, Coffee or OTT Hot Chocolates.

You can justify making (or stopping in cute little cafes) for Tea, Coffee and Hot Chocolate and don’t have to order everything iced. IMG_5358

One Pot Meals.

Warm stews, curries and one pot meals! Throw everything into a pot and let it cook slowly – Theres SO many recipes online too!


I mean, i light candles ALL year, but then get moaned at cause it makes our bedroom too hot (kinda makes sense) but in Autumn the days are shorter, nights are longer, so candles become something you can definitely justify lighting to make your room look cuter. Fairy lights too!

Blankets, Cuddling, Books, Box Sets. 

You can justify getting up in the morning, showering putting fresh PJ’s on and then climbing back into bed for the entire day. It’s chilly outside and probably raining, so lets do this.. You also don’t get too hot in bed and stick to one another… no matter how close you are or how long you’ve been together thats pretty gross.



Everything looks different, so it’s like a new walk. I LOVE going to Matlock in the Autumn. The Leaves have fallen, they decorate with lights everywhere and you can walk and walk with so much to see and do. Including the illuminations which are on every weekend in September.

Colourful leaves:

Is there a lot of stuff better then feeling the leaves crunching under your feet and kicking them around? Autumn makes everything look prettier.

Bonfires and wood burners.

My little brother LOVES a wood burner. On Sunday after dinner he went straight into the garden to light it – this is the perfect excuse to roast marshmallows too!



Sandals are away until next Summer, out comes every type of sock you can think of. Knee high socks are so okay in Autumn too! I wear these every possibility i get – They instantly make your outfit look cuter and keep your legs warm at the same time – its win win.


The smell of cinnamon is everywhere! It goes into hot chocolates, cookies, cakes everything. I LOVE cinnamon!



Ugg boots, ankle boots, Timberlands, it doesn’t matter which, your feet are ALWAYS cosy.

Pumpkins & Halloween.

Autumn is Halloween and this is my absolute favourite holiday even if it is originally american. I LOVE dressing up, going OTT on faceprint and going to pick my own pumpkin to calve it! I’m really bad at it, do an awful job, but hey! It’s fun..


I think i was supposed to be a clown here? I have no idea why, I’m terrified of clowns.IMG_5367

Pumpkin Carving.

Awful pumpkin, it has a Bee on it though and like i said above, it was fun.. ish.IMG_5368

I went to work like this. This is why Autumn and Halloween is so great. IMG_5369


Halloween means scare fest – I LOVE Scarefest at Alton Towers, I Didn’t go last year which sucked cause I had tickets. Dan hates rides though, so I guess some peer pressure will have to be put on him so he comes this year! I already messaged two of his friends last month to make sure they find dates to come with.. failing that, they can take each other!

And of course..


The end of September and most of October is filled with the Fresh Festival (Freshers fortnight events) and the Halloween Festival (Halloween events).

I work in events so i’m super lucky to be able to be a part of these every year. I’m about to do my 5th Freshers. The office is loads smaller now, so i have to be less annoying and over excited – But I think i’m actually more excited than ever!


Bees xo


We’re too busy documenting our lives to enjoy it.


So I guess the title of this blog kind of makes me a hypocrite, cause I’m about to document my life over the last few weeks, but maybe by the end of it, it will make more sense.

I work on social media a lot, and never will I, nor would i ever do anything to jeopardise that – i love my job, so the whole point of this blog post is personal social media.

I’ve decided to take a break from my personal social media – Twitter and Instagram mostly.


When it gets to the point when you fall asleep when you’re on your own looking at your phone and wake up and the first thing you do is look at your phone, this isn’t healthy.

I found myself doing this, i found myself comparing myself to people on so many levels. Their relationships with people, their weight, their clothes, everything and anything- and before i knew it, i really didn’t like myself very much.

People measure themselves with likes on Instagram. You can say you don’t, but you do. I’d post stuff most days and spend ages picking the perfect filter, the perfect location, letting my food get cold to take a photo at 4 different angles. WHY? What’s the point? So i get a few more likes on a photo? I’d put stuff on my plate, just to make it look better and i found myself not even eating half of it.

Weight wise i found myself comparing myself to people, knowing i wasn’t as skinny as i was last year. We’ll just miss a meal here, cut this out of my diet here and then i’ll feel like utter shit, but it’s fine right? Along as your “Body Goals”.

Oh Shit! A tweet went “viral” tell me more how that makes you a better person as someone who gets 3 retweets? – It doesn’t. At all. But it’s 2017. My niece asked me how many likes we got on a photo of us and that hit me. I get she probably didn’t say it because she was bothered about it in the same way as i’d be, but the last thing i’d want is for her to be growing up around some one that found social media so important to them.

How many of you roll over and check your phone first thing in the morning? You find yourself sitting there looking at this person and this person. Do you really care about this girls new hair colour? Or this guys new trainers? No. Yet there you are, liking the post, as if it matters.

Everyone is going to judge you. Whether it’s what shoes your wearing, how much your jumper was, or what car your driving. Why give them more ammunition by posting it all over your social media – it’s just an excuse for people to talk about you and put you down.

Yesterday i found out someone i thought i was okay with had blocked me on every form of social media and decided to go against me and my boyfriend morally – and that feeling sucked big time, but if i wasn’t on social media, i wouldn’t have found out. Did i need to look through 3/4 profiles? (Admittedly i was messaging her to offer her a MAC eye shadow palette i hadn’t used, but hey..) – I’m still going to see them, so why did this bother me so much?

Just as some people annoy you with their tweets or posts, there are others that can’t stop bragging about themselves. If you’re constantly reading about how fabulous your friends lives are, it starts making you feed inadequate – like you don’t measure up.  Is it really worth the blow to your self-esteem?

It’s so easy to overshare online too, you feel like everyone you’re sharing with you know – because you’re doing it from your phone or laptop. – This clearly isn’t the case. Do you really know ‘Becca’ who lives in London who you’ve never met, why are you sharing photos of your kids with her?

How many times do you see people messaging others like “yeah lets meet up!” “we should so grab good!” “lets catch up!” ? –

I’m legit the worst for this. It encourages artificial relationships with your friends. I get the whole “we don’t need to talk every day to know were friends”. I find myself seeing my actual friends less and less, but because i talk to them on twitter and leave comments on Instagram, for some reason we all think this is perfectly acceptable – and it isn’t.

It’s time to stop – put your phone down, and connect with people through a phone call or visit them instead of relying on 140 character updates and status’.

I guess what i’m trying to say is, I need a break from personal social media to actually spend time with people i love and care about, without a phone in my hand.

NON Of this is going to matter in a few years, so why does it matter so much now?

Stop getting distracted by followers – Ignore your likes, ignore your retweets and spend actual time with people you care about. Enjoy your life without the need to document every single part of it.

Bees xo 

NARS – What have you done?!

It’s a sad day when the beauty brand NARS decided money was more important than morals.


NARS is a massive beauty line that has been in the news for all the best reasons – The beauty line is famous for it’s cheeky names (Orgasm blush for example) – And they have, in my opinion the best concelar out there, plus their lipsticks are great with long lasting colours and they don’t dry your lips out either.

NARS had always taking a stance on animal testing, but sadly they are no longer cruelty-free.

Last week, the NARS brand announced that they are planning to branch out and begin sales in China.

In China animal testing is mandatory for all cosmetics companies by law. So despite the fact that products bought elsewhere will still have cruelty-free status, those bought in China will have to have been tested on animals. There for, NARS as a brand are now longer a cruelty free brand – that is against animal testing.

Hundreds of people took to Instagram to comment on the change, with a lot of people saying that NARS had put it’s ‘money over it’s principles’ (which clearly it has) and others sharing the hashtag #boycottnars.

NARS then replied on their Official Instagram page @Narsissist –


NARS are owned by the ‘Shiseido Group’ who also own BareMinerals.

NARS is known famously for it’s other methods of cosmetics testing, saying that they’re ‘committed to advancing alternative testing methods and fighting for the elimination of animal testing worldwide.’

It’s a shame NARS felt the need to broaden into China – knowing China’s law and about it’s treatment to animals including animal testing – I guess Money really does come before morals – when you go from a Non testing on animals company to deciding that lining your pocket is more important.

I guess NARS is just another one to check off the list then.

Bees xo 

10 things I learnt after I looked after a little person for a week..

So, I’m auntie Sezz.

..Im the fun one, the loud one, the one that fills them with cake and sugar and runs around with them. I’m the one that covers them in glitter and face paints them on normal days, shares my sephora pallet with them and spend hours up on hours of time building lego – But theres always other adults around.

I took my niece to Disney land for her 6th birthday with Dan, she had the most amazing time and i totally regret non of it, but Oh My GOD, i learnt ALOT!

It was her first time flying, being away from her mom without my mom (her granny) being around for a week and also her first time abroad.

  1. The Trunkie is NOT your friend, it hits you in the ankle repeatedly.. But it’s okay because when they get tired you can sit them on it and they hold on to the horn type things and boom, it’s basically a ride..


2. Unless they’re sitting on said trunkie, they’re Miss independent and want to pull it themselves around the airport, which obviously when flying from Luton is great idea, it’s not like its super busy or anything… *Sarcasm*


3. Chocolate cake isn’t lunch. When we’re at family parties every kid knows to come to me for pudding cause i’ll go OTT with them.. I actually made her have a meal of pasta first.. Also if theres a way of giving them sorbet instead of ice cream – do it, it’s less sugar apparently?! –  I was proud, is this the first step on being a responsible adult?


4. Little peoples first flight is an experience in itself. “OMG THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER” “OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING” “OMG I WANT TO GO ON A PLANE EVERYDAY!”

Bonus – she wasn’t scared.  IMG_1582

oh look.. her Trunkie being pulled by herself.. again. Just before i tripped over it.IMG_1585

5. If theres something to climb, they climb it. It does not matter how big or small it is, it doesn’t even matter what it is, if theres a way to climb it.. they will. Before this holiday i was the one that encouraged climbing, piggy backs, and jumping off stuff…IMG_1665

Climbing.. again.IMG_1670

6. £3.50 for a normal slush, or £9 for a slush that comes in a plastic cup? Obviously it’s the second choice! The more expensive version is always the best and most wanted. It’s also going to be held by the little people for about 20 minutes until its too cold for their hands and you end up carrying it instead! Oh! and if theres an opportunity to be carried or piggy backed or have a shoulder ride, they will take it. Their legs get tired within 2.12 seconds and then boom, you’re a human horse. IMG_1683

7. They could be obsessed with meeting a certain person (Hers was Darth Vader instead of princesses) We did tell her he was from the dark side, but NO! She HAD to meet him. So on day two, off we went! We queued up for 40 minutes, we met him, and oh my god this kid was clinging to my leg in fear, to the point i had to carry her out, and then we did princesses. She still won’t talk about her Darth Vader experience other than “he’s the worst person in the world, he’s horrible and i never want to see him again!”

Then we moved on to the princesses.. This was a MUCH better idea!

8. Face paint. I faceprint the little people at home, but obviously i don’t work in disney, so £13.50 for faceprint at Disneyland is a bargain! It’s even better when 20 minutes later they’ve smudged it on every part of their body and they wanted it off now. How many baby wipes will this take?IMG_1912

9. Speaking of baby wipes – Baby wipes are magical. They remove everything. Food, Drink, Too hot? baby wipe yourself. Covered in food? Baby wipe yourself. Toilet ran out of toilet paper? Baby wipe, and as for ice cream.. they’re great! Why don’t i just carry them usually? Baby wipes may have been my best accessory at Disneyland.. I’m not even joking. These things are like gold dust! Oh, and the travel packets? I salut whoever came up with this idea – You are incredible Mr Mini pack baby wipe man.

You have to pack for EVERY possibility. 30 degrees but staying for the parade and fire works? You need a night time outfit, plus sun cream for the day, Anti-bacteraial gel, obviously baby wipes (have i mentioned how great they are yet?) Everything and anything.

Little one got attached to this leaf she wanted to take home for her leaf collection, as we were a few hours flight away we decided a photo would be a good idea, then we made a wish and let the leaf blow away with it’s little leaf friends.. IMG_2001

You get them a new toy, and this toy becomes life. Rapunzel. Her long hair covered in ketchup a day in, i did a good 54322345 plaits in her hair, we played hair dressers, she couldn’t go in a bag! She’s a princess! So, we had to carry Rapunzel around the airport and she also went on her first flight… I dread to think what might have happened if we’d lost Rapunzel. She even needed to wash her hands after the bathroom.. IMG_2004IMG_2032IMG_2035

10. The most important thing i learnt was that this little human is incredible. She has so much courage and intelligence for such a little human being and i am so incredibly proud of her. Watching her grow up and teaching her how to do things etc is the greatest gift i could be given. I’m so proud of her. My Little best friend xo


The day after we got home and she went back to her mums i felt like id lost my trust little sidekick! There was no one there to “help” me brush my teeth, brush my hair and pull half my weave out, or try and sleep in my tshirts instead of their own!  It’s a good job she rang us the next day to ask if we were okay and to tell us she missed us. This made it totally okay for me to be needy and ring her later on too!

Also – it’s tiering! How can they go to bed late after the fireworks etc, yet wake up so early!? Sleep little people, sleep!

And yet, i can’t wait to do this all over again. I wouldn’t change a single bit go this for anything in the entire world!

Bees xo 

The magical place for GF..


I’ve been crazy busy and feel like there isn’t enough hours in the day to blog at the moment! We’ve just got back from taking my niece to Disney land for her birthday and after the “meal” at the airport i was really really worried about being about to eat at Disneyland and not having to live off of Crisps and ice tea.

We flew from Luton airport and got there just after mid day. We went to Frankie and Benny’s for an all day breakfast (the normal thing people eat at the airport before they fly right…?)

When we got there I asked for the gluten free menu. The main menu looked amazing, there was SO much stuff on it and i fancied so much of it!

…I got half a side of A4 paper as my menu and there was a breakfast on it. Looking at it properly i couldn’t even eat the chips as they were cooked with onion rings etc. How hard is it to keep oils separate? But hey, how bad could it be?

I ordered the chicken burger with a sour cream potato.

The chicken burger was meant to be full of salad, so lettuce, tomato, relish, mayo, red onion, cheese and bacon.

This is what i was presented with – a dry chicken burger that was still pink in the middle and a jacket potato that was harder than my mums rock pool in the back garden.

I made the most of it, but it was AWFUL. – To make matters worse, desert wise i could have a fruit salad or nothing.


After this i was even more worried, the last thing I felt like doing after only recently hitting my target weight was living on salads for the week.

When we bought the Disney land tickets we got free discount vouchers for planet Hollywood. We’d eaten there before and it was alright, not great but we thought we’d give it a try.

We walked in, got seated straight away, i asked for the Gluten Free menu and it was already in the normal menu! I loved this because it’s sometimes awkward asking for the other menu when they’ve already sat you down.

There was SO much on the menu to choose from!

From burgers to pastas, steaks, pizzas and more! – I don’t think i’ve ever had this much choice GF food wise in one place.




The first day i rushed because i didn’t look properly and realise that there was more than one page. I just ordered a margarita pizza. I wasn’t that hungry and for the price i wasn’t expecting much. The photo makes it look so average, but it wasn’t, it was beaut! It was crispy and didn’t have the horrible stodgy dough taste a lot have, plus it wasn’t stick thin either!


The second day i looked at the menu so much more – and i got stuck.

Luckily I have a really understanding boyfriend that knows how difficult eating out can be for me – so he also ordered his food Gluten free and picked off the Gluten free menu so i could have some of his…

We ordered a pepperoni pizza and a BBQ chicken, bacon and cheese burger – and Dan cut both in half so we could have half each! The chips were gluten free too! Plus all the portions were massive!


I’m really lucky that Dan understands how excited i get about good GF menus..

The bread on the burger was soft and toasted (this never happens)

They asked us how we wanted the burger cooked (we had medium and it was perfect)

They filled everything up just as much as the usual and non gluten free portions – and they didn’t cost any more than the normal ones – which is again really rare!

If you see a Planet Hollywood i strongly suggest nipping in and ordering some food! Just don’t order sides, you really don’t need them! We were stuffed for hours after!

It’s safe to say when we go back i won’t be worrying or stressing myself out about being able to eat an actual meal again!

Bees xo 

Eating out – GF Style!

I haven’t posted in well over a week! I’ve been super busy! So here.. Have a blog post!

Having Coeliacs means it used to be really hard to eat out and stuff! Lots of waiters and waitresses have no idea what it is or just think you’re being fussy. People don’t realise the smallest bit of gluten or wheat can knock you off your feet for a few days leading up to a week!

Saying this though, I HATE asking for the gluten free menu, asking if stuff has gluten it and i especially hate it when at parties everyone makes a massive fuss. Theres always way to much gluten free food made cause I’m normally the only one that eats it! I really don’t need 9 different sandwich choices!

Although saying this, i went to my uncles wedding last new years eve and the food there was AMAZING. They did everything gluten free for me! 4 different types of pizza, fish and chips and LOADS more! It was great, i couldn’t eat the next day though, i was way too full still.

If you’ve just been diagnosed it can seem really difficult to eat out, so below are a few of my favourite and least favourite places to eat!



Wagamama’s is our go to whenever we’re in town. Although the menu isn’t labeled that well, it’s super easy to swap stuff. So i have ramen, and then take bits out, add bits in and then swap the noodles for rice noodles. The chefs are great, they always ask if you want extra bits too!

Toby’s Cookies


Slightly different here.. Toby works for the same company as i do, he bakes, ALOT. He promised me cookies for ages and then he finally made me an entire batch. My bosses tried some too and they said how good they were. They were honestly the best cookies i’ve ever eaten! Imagine Millies cookies (that don’t do gluten free when they blatantly could) and then times this by like 54234! Thats how good these cookies are.

The Otter


At the Otter it’s really easy to eat gluten free. The majority of the things on the Roast dinners are gluten free. Above is the Mixed roast dinner platter, it’s SO GOOD! They have a full gluten free folder too and they’re happy enough to go through it with you. Obviously just don\t eat the Yorkshire puddings!

Also at the Otter they have GF Puddings! I find when i eat out, i end up with ice cream most of the time.. I like ice cream, but when theres cake on offer, does anyone REALLY want plain ice cream?!

The cake i have is a carrot cake cheese cake, so it’s carrot cake on the bottom with a creamy cheese cake top. The bottom is kind of hard but it all equals out if you eat it with the topping!

Bella Italia

The first time i went here it was great, the second time it was awful but still LOADS better than Ziti’s (this was awful and doesn’t even deserve a post)!

I went a few weeks ago with my friend Charlie who is also GF.

The gluten free garlic bread to start with his really good but fills you up quickly!

I had the Carbonara for main, and Charlie had some pasta with prawns and stuff. The pasta was cooked perfectly and you could tell it hadn’t just been heated up etc. IMG_9763

On the menu, the chips said they could come as a GF option, we both had stomach ache after, so we’re guessing the chips are maybe fried in the same oil as the Gluten products. – The food here is great but maybe stay away from the fried products!

Ed’s Easy Diner

This was.. an experience.

When we went in we got seated pretty much straight away. The guy seating us grunted cause i asked for a gluten free menu but i got one eventually!

The waitress came over to say they had NO gluten free rolls for hotdogs or buns for burgers… Ok, so they’re a burger bar? And they have no bread.. ok cool, we’ll go old school and have it without bread.


Once it came it was AWFUL. It was so over cooked, tasted like metal and it wasn’t edible. Luckily i’d ordered bacon cheese fries which were pretty good. Dan ordered chilli cheese fries that definitely weren’t worth £5.90. My Bacon ones only looked better cause they doubled up the toppings for me due to the lack of bread..IMG_0303

If i went here again, i’d definitely only have the chips and a milkshake..


We only went to harvester last minute for puddings cause apparently their GF puddings are really good… Yeah, no. This isn’t the case. They have ONE GF pudding which is a sticky toffee pudding, great yeah? The last 3-4 times i’ve been they’ve been sold out..


We ended up ordering milkshakes which were apparently called “Freak shakes” Dans was decent, mine was just overpriced vanilla ice-cream with 4 marshmallows and some rock hard candy floss on top.. Never again.

Handmade Burger Co

IMG_0568This was great, the bun came separate too and it was sealed so it wasn’t dry! my burger had cheese inside of the burger, by the time you’ve actually built the burger its huge and you kinda can’t pick it up. It was really nice though & i can’t wait to go back!

Frankie and Benny’s – Breakfast.


It never looks like theres much food, but it always fills you up! Plus it only costs like £5.95 or something cheap! You have to mix match – take some stuff off and add some stuff. Depending on which branch you go to depends on how they cook stuff. So be super careful and make sure you know how the potatoes and stuff are cooked!



Mcdonalds is just that bog standard burger and chips. With how big the company is you’d have thought they’d have SOMETHING gf, but no. I have a big mac and chips – with no bread.

YoYo Frozen Yogurt


Last summer i went to Alicante. They had this little frozen yogurt bar that had EVERY flavour and topping and sauce you can think of. You pay for how much it weighs but its definitely worth it! Theres fresh fruit, dried fruit, cold sauces, hot sauces, sweets, nuts, jelly sweets, chocolate and SO much more. We need one of these exact places in the UK.

Pizza Hut


Pizza hut is nice due to the Salad bar, but its kinda like, if you wanna risk that nothings contaminated with gluten then do it. The pizza bases are pretty hard so you need the salad or the sauces. Along as you have a lot of toppings its pretty good!

Dominos Pizza


The only side you can eat is coleslaw now.. The pizza bases are pretty chalky and wayyy to expensive. But along as you have the dip and ALOT of toppings it’s pretty tasty! It’s always fine when you’re hungover.

Peter Pizza


Peter pizza is this magical place where non of the pizzas are dry, the gluten free base actually has a really nice crust and they do about 12-15 different types of pizza. You can have them with or without sauce, add or take away toppings and everything is so tasty! It fills you up super quick though. They’re proper pizzas cooked in a huge stone pizza oven too! I know they have a restaurant in both Leicester and Loughborough but I’m unsure if they have one anywhere else!

They also do Nutella pizza for desert which is incredible, i LOVE chocolate but even i can’t finish it!

Five Guys


Five guys is the only place i don’t mind eating a burger without bread. It’s a fixed price once you’ve chosen your burger then you just add whatever toppings and sauces you like. If you go for the GF option they have two. They either serve it in a tray for you or wrap it in lettuce leaves. The lettuce wrap is the one i always have, its really messy but really nice so it’s totally worth it! Chips are GF too!

Anyone else had good and bad experiences when eating out gluten free? Drop me a message of new places to try too! 

Bees xo 


Your 20’s Are Your Selfish Years.


Hey Guys,

I’m at the point at the moment where I feel totally lost.

I know what I want and it’s pretty much the same as every other person. The only issue is the fact everyone else seems to be doing it right now and I’m not ready for that.

I’m 26, I work weird hours and late nights but I love my job.

I keep getting asked, when are you having kids, when are you buying a house, when are you going to make something of yourself, But who says I haven’t?

I’m not stuck in a job i hate to pay the bills, I’m not forcing myself out of bed in the morning and rolling into an office and working 9 till 5, Monday to Friday.

I moved out before and I wasn’t ready. It took me over a year to realise this and I ended up making myself ill, so now I’m sitting here explaining myself to people when i shouldn’t need to. I want to save, be comfortable and move out with the right person instead of rushing into it.

As for kids, I’m 26. Who said i have to have kids right now? I don’t see it as a written rule anywhere.

I don’t understand older generations. Why is everything set in stone, everything you do has to be a certain way, in a certain order. Boyfriend – House – Marriage – Kids. You have to look a certain way to be accepted and that isn’t okay.

This year i’ve grown apart from people that i thought i’d be friends with forever, purely cause they found me selfish when it came to not putting them first etc. These are people i’d always put first before, but its tiering. No one needs to continue friendships and relationships with people that are completely one way, it isn’t fair and it doesn’t need to be done. Now I finally realise it isn’t who you’ve known the longest it really is who’s always been there for you when you need them.
I’ve met people this year and I’m so grateful. One of them even classes me as family. I haven’t even known him a year yet, but i know if i ever needed advice he’s a text away and he knows that thats vice versa.

I work in events, and over the Summer when were planning freshers I’m always super excited and this year is no exception. I have 3 different Facebook accounts, 2 work and 1 purely personal. All over the personal account everyones getting married and having kids, some of the people i went to school with are on their 3rd kid, and heres me sitting here wondering who we’ve got headlining freshers..

I’ve been really worried for the last couple of months (Since my birthday in Feb) because I turned 26. Am i too old? Am i supposed to of done other stuff by now?

Last night i went for dinner with my friend Charlie. Charlie is lovely, we don’t talk that much because she lives her life and i live mine, but we know whenever we need each other we’re there. I was talking to her about things too, she’s really into traveling and stuff. She helped me realise that actually, i’m doing the exact right thing – what makes me happy and that thats all that matters at the moment.

I like my job, I like seeing my friends, spending my weekends with my boyfriend and my family. I like random long weekends away and eating way to much food. NON of this means i need to rush in to anything just because its all over social media and older generations are telling me repeatedly, about what is and isn’t okay at my age.

As selfish as it is, people say your 20’s are your selfish years, so i guess this means it’s okay for me to be selfish and do things that I find fun and to enjoy my work and my life just the way it is at the moment.

If you want to book that flight? Do it. You want to go and explore somewhere new? Do it. Go order way too many clothes you probably don’t need and then moan you have nothing to where. Go for lunch, make it take hours. Stop putting a time on doing things, you don’t need to time what you’re doing! (This place at 11am, this place at 4am etc.) I’m the worlds WORST with time keeping, so just chill.

 The only person stopping you is yourself (and maybe your bank balance.)

Bees xo



#SundayFunday – It’s TOO hot!

On Friday Dan Surprised me and came up on Friday night before i went to work instead of Saturday! I’d been pretty grumpy all week from over worrying and being a massive girl about not seeing him!


It’s like a weekend tradition now. EVERY Saturday Dan gets a fry up and most Sundays too! So me and my mum keep seeing who can buy the best stuff for the best fry up etc..


It’s like 30 degrees this weekend which to me is insane, we live in the UK.. I swear it’s never this hot?! So we decided to eat in the garden..IMG_9261

I found out my step dad grew fruit and veg in the garden too, literally didn’t realise until my niece pointed out some strawberries on a  random plant.IMG_9100

Everyone else is having the best time, we’ve got all the Family over andddd I’m stuck with the worlds worst hay fever, can’t see due to streaming eyes but its totally worth sitting outside with my niece and two nephews! IMG_9269

Sunday Sunday & it’s actually Sunny, Of course this means a BBQ! IMG_9258

Being gluten free people get a lot more excited about BBQ’s than i do. I just like all the different salads. Mint salad is my favourite, it’s made from Fresh mint, Cabbage, tomatoes, cucumber, white wine vinegar and olive oil. It’s SO good, my mum had it at a Spanish restaurant years ago and now we always bug her to make it! IMG_9267

I wore the cutest shorts today. It comes as a two piece from for £12! The tops exactly the same print as the bottoms and it’s so light weight, they’ve still got them now and they’re perfect to chuck on, on a hot day! IMG_9366

We stayed in this weekend cause it was just TOO hot to do anything else. I had a really fun weekend playing far too much swing ball and sitting in a child’s paddling pool though!

Until next week,
Bees xo 

Cocowhite Teeth Whitening Review


Hey Guys! 

I got sent a treatment of Cocowhite teeth whitening! It’s apparently really good so I’m super excited to try it out and see how it goes.

Day 1: It’s a VERY weird constancy in your mouth.. It doesn’t taste bad at all, it’s just.. ODD! You have to warm the sachet up in your hands and you get wayyyyy to much. Theres literally enough product here for 2 people. You have to then keep swishing it around your mouth like mouthwash for 15 minutes.. My teeth currently look exactly the same, but we’ll see how they look in a couple of days i guess!

Day 2: Oooops i forgot..

Day 3: Ok so this is actually day two right?! I’m really not getting used to the consistency in my mouth but i will…right?! My teeth look the same, possibly because i forgot yesterday..

Day 4: i forgot again…

Day 5: okay guys i forget again, lets start from scratch another time i guess!

Day 6:

Day 7:

Day 8:

Day 9:

Day 10:

Day 11:

Day 12:

Day 13:

Day 14:

Bees xo

Why it’s Okay to lose a best friend.


I’ve been reading a few of the dear best friends posts on social media and blogs and reading then made me realise a lot. Just because someone claimed to be there for you through thick and thin – the likelihood of it is – they’re not. People grow apart, and thats okay. You don’t need to try and hold on to your best friend  like i did.

Dear Best friend,

You can blame me, you can come up with a million reasons as to why you don’t trust me, but really, i don’t trust you.

You’ve bitched about me, lied about me and never once heard my side of the story. Never had I been disloyal to you and never will I be.

Whatever you think it was – it wasn’t. They chose you over me. I never said anything because if you were happy, thats all that mattered, it was that simple.

You stood and told me to my face to stay away from someone because you didn’t trust them – because if you don’t like someone, I don’t either. Thats how we were. Yet that hashtag of #Bestfriend got moved from me to her.  I would NEVER have treated you that way and I will never replace you.

Before, there would never have been a “are you coming out for my birthday” we’d be online shopping weeks before, planning and being at each others birthdays wouldn’t have been a second thought – you’re family.  Watching TV, eating way to much dinner on a Sunday, napping wherever we fell, the garden, sofa, bed…car! Eating ice cream and sitting in PJ’s all day Sunday was our thing.

Granted – I changed jobs and wasn’t around as much as i was working 80 hour weeks in our busiest period. Just so you know – I never gave up on you, i even invited you to come too.

We’d make plans, and i’d be waiting for you to ask about them, and there was nothing. Repeatedly. I was as bad with this.

I thought after last summer things would get back to being better again – I guess i was wrong.

Hearing what your best friend has said about you is heartbreaking, but i’m not shocked. I sided with you, always and forever, even when you were in the wrong about things. I would have your back because that’s loyalty – thats what best friends do.

Maybe this was me giving up.

Friendship and relationships are the same – it can never be a one-way street.

“It isn’t petty, it isn’t nasty. True friendship is supportive, accepting, understanding and is never less important than a boy. Best friends never, ever intentionally hurt their best friends , no matter what the reason may be. Once you do that, you just aren’t best friends anymore.”

How long you’ve known someone doesn’t judge how good of a friend they are to you. Actions speak louder than words, and never would i ever say i was completely innocent – I could have made more of an effort too – the difference with us is i’d never bad mouth you and thats what you spent last summer and how ever long before that doing.

When you love someone, you fight. There will always be bumps in the road, but I stuck around for longer than I should have. You know this. I know you know this. I forgive you for things that I never in a million years could imagine myself doing to you. You were my best friend. That meant unconditional love. Until it didn’t to you.

I kept choosing you when I should have been choosing me. Well, now, I choose me.

It breaks my heart over and over that it got to this stage – and although it’s me that officially decided we aren’t friends anymore – you decided this too.

Despite how this has all ended, I still love you and still thank you – That won’t ever change.

Thank you for our years of friendship and memories that can NEVER be topped by anybody. Thank you for showing me what true friendship is. Thank you for teaching me how to get up when i’ve fallen down, how to deal with a broken heart from a silly boy, how to be selfless, how to be forgiving and how to be a loyal friend.

People grow apart and I guess our apart was just too far to fix.

The best friend you pushed away.

Bees xo