I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but turn off the news. Move your body, read a book and write down 3 things that you’re thankful for.

Long time no blog post, right?
With everything thats going on right now, I have a lot of free time.. So welcome back to my little corner of the internet..

This is going to be really badly written and i’m probably going to blabber on and repeat myself too..

It’s impossible for you not to have seen anything about CONVID-19 on social media, the news, papers, it’s everywhere.

I’m used to working 3 jobs and constantly being on the go, but yesterday was day one of self isolation – and yesterday i had a really, really unproductive day, and i’ll be clear about it – I felt like shit.

I’m all for a Netflix and chill day on a day off.  I LOVE Netflix, and one of my friends just introduced me to Amazon prime movie wise too (even with being a prime ambassador i’d never used it, didn’t even think to look – I know, awful rep!)

I had a pretty productive weekend, but yesterday I was in a rut. I was bored.
I totally understand why self isolation is so important – I have graves disease, so I’m high risk but thought i’d been doing what I needed to do to keep myself and people around me safe – I was totally wrong.

So after my entire day in bed yesterday or just around my bedroom i was bored, fed up and overthinking. (Luckily i have people in my life that help me get out of the rut, check on your friends.. it’s important).

I guess what i’m trying to say is, it’s okay to spend days watching TV, Netflix, Play games, but you need to be productive and not fall into a bad place.

I went to bed in the worst mood last night but woke up to a handful of messages including puppy videos, “morning angel” messages and other messages telling me to stay safe – and it completely changed my mindset.
It’s so easy to fall into a rut, it doesn’t mean your lazy, but in my opinion, if you can stay active, you should. I’m not talking about meeting up with friends, or going out when you don’t need to.

Just try some of these ideas:

• Get out of bed
• Shower
• Eat breakfast / Lunch
• Read a book
• Watch TV / Netflix
• Start a Blog ( I can help with this!)
• Clean your wardrobe (If you know me, you know full well this is a last resort for me..)
• Cook
• Learn to Bake
• Read Blogs – a lot goes into a blog you know? When was the last time you read something instead of watching it on youtube?
• Search Hashtags on instagram for things you’re interested in – you’ll be amazed how much comes up.
• Make a mood board – I love a mood board.
• Talk to your friends.
• Play games – Xbox, Ps4, Switch – or like me, good old Sims..
• Meal Prep
• Home work outs
• Make a Music Play list
• Board games
• Learn an online course
• Colour! – When was the last time you coloured in for no reason?
• Go for a walk – WITH Social distancing
• Work on the garden
• Support a small business
• Call a friend
• Write a list of things to do when you’re feeling better
• Stay Hydrated

You just NEED to get out of bed.

It’s okay to be scared, to be anxious, to be uncertain. Lets be honest, nobody knows whats going on right now.

Try managing your anxiety –

• Avoid excessive exposure to media coverage
• Connect trough calls, internet, texts.
• Add Extra time for daily stress relief.
• Practise self care*

Create a self care routine –

• Get out of bed
• Shower
• Pick an outfit
• Eat – Remember to eat.
• Drink water
• Skincare
• Keep a diary

Everyone is in exactly the same boat of uncertainty. I’d do anything to see my friends and family right now, but I also realise that that could very easily put me into hospital – and let’s be honest; That isn’t fair on anyone.

It’s okay if it takes time to make sense of all of this. We can ALL do something to help – we can stay at home.

 B xo 

I’ve said it before; and i’ll say it again.. Don’t treat yourself worse than you would treat a best friend.

Long time no blog post right? Welcome back to my little corner of the internet.

Between work, illness, change (we all know I don’t like change) and just being ridiculously busy – It’s time for some “ME” time and some time to focus on myself and things i like doing – which is my blog.

Sometimes when people ask me what i’m doing today, on my day off and I reply “nothing” it doesn’t mean i’m free. It means i’m having a me day, and i’m doing nothing.

I’ve had a really rocky few months since Christmas with lots of huge changes and theres people i’m close to that have absolutely no idea and half of me likes it that way; the other half? I’m not so sure..

I was sat in hospital on Wednesday having what felt like 5334 tests and thinking “Me a year ago would be sat here with my MacBook blogging. Not sitting here wasting my time scrolling through Instagram”.
As much as I LOVE Instagram I find myself wasting so much time on it watching things that are totally irrelevant that I won’t even remember in 24 hours. Plus it’s only natural to judge yourself when looking on instagram at all the “perfect profiles” which can sometimes make you feel worse than you already do..

Anyway, without getting even more sidetracked..

So!..Lets talk about ANXIETY.

It’s 2019 and it feels as though every mum, dad, brother, sister, auntie, uncle, cousin thats been twice removed, dog, cat and tortoise has been “Diagnosed” with Anxiety.. But how many of them actually have?

Probably a lot.. Lets be honest. Things have changed from 5 years ago to now massively. You judge yourself every chance you get, more people are stressing at School, Uni and Work and Basically what is screwing us up the most is the picture in our head of how life is supposed to be.

Anxiety isn’t feeling a little nervous about something, or being a little worried.. Anxiety is simply.. Horrible.
Simply is definitely the wrong word to use here, as Anxiety is anything but simple..

When I was diagnosed with anxiety I laughed at my doctor. Me? The person that can stand in front of 2000 people on stage.. Anxious? Not a chance, it’s got to be something else.. Right?

Then the feelings came out more, the lack of sleep, the insomnia, I don’t think many people understand – You can be the most confident person in the world, but anxiety is still very real. Everyone has different ways of dealing with anxiety – I scratch my hand or fiddle with something like a bobble on my wrist or play with my hair.

Anxiety is like a cycle –

1. Anxious Mess
2. Therapy and Self Care
3. Hey! I’m feeling pretty okay actually!
4. Wait, I’m feeling too good.. This is suspicious..
5. Something terrible is going to happen.. Any. Minute. NOW..
6. …And then we’re back to “Anxious Mess” at number one.
7. 

Anxiety comes in so many different forms. Do you know if your closest friends and people you see daily have anxiety? It’s not just being a little nervous about something, it could be:

• Cancelling plans at the last minute.
• Believing they are a burden to everyone
• Eating all the time or not at all
• Mood swings that could last hours, or even days
• Being emotionally distant
• Constantly needing reassurance that they are still loved or haven’t “messed anything up”
• Isolating themselves to protect others.
• Frequent crying or melt downs
• Having an outburst over something others may consider to be “small”.
• 

How can you recognise Anxiety in yourself? This can be really difficult but a few signs are:

• Over thinking
• avoidance
• sweating
• stomach issues
• panic attacks
• Needing reassurance
• Procrastination
• Trouble breathing
• Headaches
• Rapid heartbeat
• Insomnia
• Memory Issues

But more common signs of Anxiety could be – 

• Feeling nervous, restless or tense
• Having a sense of danger or panic
• Having an increased heart rate
• Breathing rapidly (hyperventilation)
• Sweating
• Trembling
• Feeling weak or tired
• Trouble concentrating or thinking about anything other than the present worry.
• Having trouble sleeping
• Having difficulty controlling worry
• Having the urge to avoid things that trigger anxiety.

Plus did you know Several types of anxiety disorders exist? It isn’t that if you have anxiety, you’re the exact same as the girl down the street with it too. Theres so many different types..:

• Agoraphobia
• Anxiety disorder due to a medical condition
• Generalized anxiety disorder
• Panic disorder
• Selective mutism
• Separation anxiety disorder
• Social anxiety disorder (social phobia)
• Specific phobias
• Substance-induced anxiety disorder
• Other specified anxiety disorder and unspecified anxiety disorder

Enough with the bullet points.. RIGHT?! Well, Nearly!

After Christmas and during Easter I was at my absolutely worst. Confused and pretty much lost, with a constant fear of getting replaced. I lost friends including one of my best friends and i’m pretty sure they have no idea. I guess thats life though isn’t it? You grow apart from people, it’s normal – but how normal is normal?
I hadn’t slept in 5 days, only got up for work and spent the rest of my time in bed or out keeping myself busy.  After getting to 7 days with 4 hours sleep I went back to the doctor about other health problems (again coming in a new post) and he re-diagnosed me with severe anxiety. Nothing had changed, not really? I’d dropped some people that were making no effort with me, realised other people weren’t worth my time and then realised that this was it – How could I spend time with people and like people if I didn’t even Like myself?

So last week, I threw myself into work, went for walks, put my phone down more, did things I wanted to do and it helped massively. I didn’t want any other medication that would make me feel like a zombie – everyone has ways of dealing with stuff and this wasn’t mine.

• Exercise. Exercise is one of the most important things you can do to combat stress.
• Get a diary.
• Make a routine.
• Consider Supplements.
• Light a Candle.
• Reduce Your Caffeine Intake.
• Write It Down.
• Chew Gum.
• Spend Time With Friends and Family.
• Laugh.
• Cuddle.
• Learn a New Hobby or Class.
• Learn to avoid procrastination.
• And what I think is most important, personally:

• Learn to Say “NO!”

• Not all stressors are within your control, but some are.
• Take control over the parts of your life that you can change and are causing you stress or pain.
• One way to do this may be to say “no” more often.
• This is especially true if you find yourself taking on more than you can handle, as juggling too many responsibilities can leave you feeling overwhelmed.
• Being selective about what you take on and reduce your stress levels.
• 

Heres a few of my favourite Instagram profiles when i’m having an off day –

@Wonderful_u 

@Wonderful_u – Meg is amazing, she does daily stories on her instagram and involves her two puppies Rue and Murphie. She is always really positive and an amazing person to follow. She’s really down to earth and her instagram proves she’s a normal person not your usual Instagrammer that pretends to lead their perfect life too fool everyone. Meg is genuine and lovely.

@CGBlackburn

@CGBlackburn – Chloe’s a make-up artist, I know right? Just hear me out – She’s not your usual instagram makeup artist – She’s amazing! Chloe runs events to help raise awareness for mental health. She’s constantly on instagram regardless of having a full time job as a MUA and is always so positive – plus she’s obsessed with Harry Potter… So thats always an extra winner right? She’s an amazing and down to earth person to follow.

@BeckyExcell 

@BeckyExcell – Becky is a gluten free food blogger that creates recipes and loves to travel. There’s been a few times i’ve been too nervous to travel or even eat – and i’ve flicked through her instagram and it’s really helped!

@Alyserurianidesign

@Alyserurianidesign – Someone else had posted Alyse’s designs from their own account so i’ve only just started to follow her personally pretty recently. She does drawings and illustrations for mental health awareness and her designs are amazing. Check her out!

These 4 won’t disappoint!

We’re coming to the end of the post now – so i’ll finally shut up – but honestly, If you’re feeling anxious go see a doctor, I learnt the hard way – This doesn’t make you weak this makes you stronger. And Sometimes, self-care is giving yourself permission to have a bad day.

And if the price is your health? Don’t do it. I learnt this the hard way too.

“Never give up on someone with a mental illness. When “I” Is replaced by “WE” Illness becomes Wellness. – Shannon L. Alder.

Here’s a question – have you checked in with your loved ones lately? 

Bees xo 

So! I’ve been here there and every everywhere in the last few months of 2018. I was changing jobs, building a hair and make-up studio, finally seeing my friends more and traveling at every opportunity I had (New York blog post coming soon).
I started a Vlog, My own business and got the all clear from a tumour on my Thyroid gland.

They’ll also be loads more blog posts this year – purely because i actually have the time now.

Although this all sounds positive, I learnt A LOT in 2018 and some of it is negative.

One of my best friends Beth has just started a blog herself and I couldn’t be more proud of her ( http://simplybeth99home.wordpress.com ) go take a look at her blog, her first blog is where i got the idea for this blog post from – and on a totally unbiased basis – she’s honestly amazing.

But yeah, sidetracking again – here’s 10 things 2018 taught me.

1. “Dear You, busy, weary, tired you. Please know that the world won’t stop spinning if you take a break.. It’s about finding a balance, a bit of give and take. 
You can’t move mountains every day, some days are just a little grey.
So, this is your reminder.. You can’t do it all – Please take a step back before you fall.”

After it taking so long to diagnose me with *graves disease* I spent my summer pretty down so chucked myself into my blog, numerous different jobs and work, purely to keep myself busy. I learnt slowly (and the hard way) that graves disease isn’t a joke – if I say i need a rest, it’s because I need a rest. If i admit i’m tired – I need to sleep.
– It’s okay to take a time out if you need it. Despite what anyone else says or how anyone else makes you feel.

*Graves Disease* – Hyperthyroidism or overactive thyroid, is a condition in  which an excessive amount of thyroid hormones are produced by the thyroid gland. A common cause of hyperthyroidism is Graves Disease, another problem that cannot be cured. If graves disease is not treated it can be fatal.

2. “2018 has taught me that you can’t control someones loyalty. No matter how good you are to them, doesn’t mean they’ll treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, doesn’t mean they’ll value you the same. Sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least.”

And ain’t that the truth! – Someone can make out they’re all about you until they no longer need you – and that’s when true colours come out. I learnt this the hard way and i’d love to say i’ve learnt my lesson but i’m a very gullible human being..

3. You WILL Compare yourself to others on social media. 

I may not be the skinniest, I may not be the most tanned, or have the best skin or be the best looking – But thats okay.

4. Work can’t always come first.

It’s so easy to get into a routine of work, home, work, bed. It gets to a point where you can so easily forget to eat and have a life outside of work, and thats exactly what happened to me.
Now I have my studio and i’m working 1 night a week and it’s so much less pressure & i get to see my friends and family so much more.

5. Stay away from negative people. 

It’s a lot easier said than done. But if someones bitching about someone to you, then what are they saying about you to them? There’s only so much negativity you can take before you turn into a negative person yourself – No one needs that, and nothing is worth that – No matter how much you love something.

6. For god sake girl, EAT!

Getting over the same eating disorder yet again was another positive thing of 2018. I totally lost myself as it was the only thing I had control over.
Eating is SO important along with having a balanced diet – without that you can feel so down and drained. Eat some veg, drink some water and eat a chocolate bar bigger than your head. Take the stairs instead of the lift and just be happy – enjoy it.

7. Your true friends will ALWAYS have your back, no matter where you are or how long its been since you last saw them.

You need friends that will defend you in a room when someone speaks bad about you, without you being there. You need friends that are more like family. You don’t need to see these friends a lot, but you know if you need them – they’re there.

8. Even the most confident of people need help sometimes. 

Put me in a club, in front of 2000 people and I can cope, put me one to one with someone and the panic hits. I come across to some people as one of the most confident people you could meet – but i’m also one of the most anxious people you could ever meet. Never judge a book by its cover..

9. It’s OKAY to ask for help. 

If you’re struggling or need help with something, or if you just need a push in the right direction, it’s always okay to ask for help. Even if the person you need help from is the busiest person on the planet – if they’re a half decent human being, they’ll always find time for you. People you have known 5 minutes can be more loyal than people you’ve known for years.

10. I am so much stronger than I have ever given myself credit for. 

2018 helped me grow, 2019 is my year…With A LOT more pizza. 

Bees xo